1 00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:10,034 "And all of the animals stopped and listened to the wonderful sound. 2 00:00:10,172 --> 00:00:12,379 "They had never heard anything so beautiful. 3 00:00:12,517 --> 00:00:14,621 "It was a special day in the forest. 4 00:00:14,759 --> 00:00:19,069 "It was the day Billy the Bullfrog got back his croak. 5 00:00:19,827 --> 00:00:21,345 "The end." 6 00:00:21,483 --> 00:00:23,276 Huh? What do you think of that story? 7 00:00:28,758 --> 00:00:32,862 Ew! Next time, just a little thumbs down will do fine. 8 00:00:43,482 --> 00:00:46,137 ♪ Mmm mmm mmm 9 00:00:47,585 --> 00:00:51,792 ♪ Tell me why I love you like I do 10 00:00:51,930 --> 00:00:54,930 ♪ Tell me who can stop my heart 11 00:00:55,068 --> 00:00:56,688 ♪ As much as you 12 00:00:56,826 --> 00:01:00,792 ♪ Tell me all your secrets I'll tell you most of mine 13 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:02,723 ♪ They say nobody's perfect 14 00:01:02,861 --> 00:01:05,102 ♪ Well, that's really true this time 15 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,137 ♪ 'Cause I don't have the answers 16 00:01:07,274 --> 00:01:09,239 ♪ I don't have a plan 17 00:01:09,377 --> 00:01:11,446 ♪ All I have is you, So, baby 18 00:01:11,584 --> 00:01:13,136 ♪ Help me understand 19 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,136 ♪ What we do 20 00:01:15,274 --> 00:01:17,136 ♪ You can whisper in my ear 21 00:01:17,274 --> 00:01:19,274 ♪ Where we go 22 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,792 ♪ Who knows what happens after here? 23 00:01:21,929 --> 00:01:23,998 ♪ Let's take each other's hand 24 00:01:24,136 --> 00:01:27,308 ♪ And jump into the final frontier 25 00:01:27,894 --> 00:01:29,687 ♪ Ah ha ha 26 00:01:35,894 --> 00:01:37,480 Okay, why? 27 00:01:37,618 --> 00:01:39,376 Why would Al Gore come to New York City 28 00:01:39,514 --> 00:01:41,514 When he knows all it's gonna do is screw up traffic 29 00:01:41,618 --> 00:01:42,963 and make everybody angry at him? 30 00:01:43,101 --> 00:01:44,204 He's gonna be on Conan. 31 00:01:45,963 --> 00:01:48,273 Oh, that's right. Plugging the new Al Gore cologne. 32 00:01:50,307 --> 00:01:51,514 Come on. We should leave early 33 00:01:51,652 --> 00:01:52,938 if we want to make it on time to the restaurant. 34 00:01:52,962 --> 00:01:53,962 Right. 35 00:01:54,928 --> 00:01:57,100 I wonder what this new "boyfriend" is like 36 00:01:57,238 --> 00:01:58,283 your mother wants us to meet. 37 00:01:58,307 --> 00:01:59,824 He is not her "boyfriend". 38 00:01:59,962 --> 00:02:01,824 At no time did she use the word "boyfriend". 39 00:02:01,962 --> 00:02:03,893 She called him her "Gentleman friend". 40 00:02:04,549 --> 00:02:05,686 Gentleman friend? 41 00:02:05,824 --> 00:02:07,111 So, in other words, they're not, like... 42 00:02:07,135 --> 00:02:09,204 Hey! Hey! Hey! Don't do that. 43 00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:20,893 There's tuna salad. 44 00:02:22,168 --> 00:02:23,341 No, no, thank you. 45 00:02:23,479 --> 00:02:25,306 I... I was just... just wondering. 46 00:02:25,444 --> 00:02:27,065 What? 47 00:02:27,203 --> 00:02:28,686 How close you are to, you know, 48 00:02:28,824 --> 00:02:31,444 using the bottle at all, to any degree? 49 00:02:31,582 --> 00:02:32,582 Soon. 50 00:02:33,030 --> 00:02:34,030 'Cause... 51 00:02:34,168 --> 00:02:36,548 I know soon, but, like... Like when? 52 00:02:36,685 --> 00:02:38,650 Like soon. I don't wanna give this up. 53 00:02:38,789 --> 00:02:40,030 I love this. 54 00:02:40,168 --> 00:02:41,868 Who's saying give it up? I would never say give it up. 55 00:02:41,892 --> 00:02:43,272 I'm saying... Augment. 56 00:02:43,410 --> 00:02:44,512 Augment. 57 00:02:44,650 --> 00:02:46,409 The bottle in addition to the breast. 58 00:02:46,547 --> 00:02:48,110 Yes, but once they get ahold of the bottle, 59 00:02:48,134 --> 00:02:49,961 some babies lose interest in the breast. 60 00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:51,858 She'd have to be nuts. 61 00:02:54,685 --> 00:02:56,754 I would miss this time with her so much. 62 00:02:56,892 --> 00:02:58,754 It's just sweet, intimate... 63 00:02:58,892 --> 00:02:59,892 Ow! 64 00:03:02,409 --> 00:03:03,995 Even so. 65 00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,167 It's just, you know, when I see you feeding her, 66 00:03:06,305 --> 00:03:07,547 you guys... you're so close. 67 00:03:07,685 --> 00:03:10,616 You're close to her. You change her, you clean her. 68 00:03:11,753 --> 00:03:13,512 I'm close to the bottom of her. 69 00:03:15,305 --> 00:03:17,271 I'd like to be close to the top of her. 70 00:03:17,409 --> 00:03:19,098 I want some action on the way in. 71 00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:21,788 Soon. 72 00:03:21,926 --> 00:03:24,029 'Cause, you know, nutritionally, the bottle is fine. 73 00:03:24,167 --> 00:03:25,167 I know. Soon. 74 00:03:26,995 --> 00:03:28,522 Plus, you'd be able to keep, you know, your clothes on in public, 75 00:03:28,546 --> 00:03:29,684 Which we used to enjoy. 76 00:03:31,373 --> 00:03:33,166 Soon. 77 00:03:33,304 --> 00:03:35,719 Okay. But you're definitely gonna do it, right? 78 00:03:35,857 --> 00:03:36,857 Soon. 79 00:03:39,132 --> 00:03:41,442 In India, a hurricane might be called a mon... 80 00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:42,718 Soon. Soon, yes. 81 00:03:48,856 --> 00:03:49,866 Can you believe it? She... She won't even 82 00:03:49,890 --> 00:03:51,373 let me feed my own child. 83 00:03:51,510 --> 00:03:52,648 Don't you understand? 84 00:03:52,787 --> 00:03:54,579 As far as the kid is concerned, you are done. 85 00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:55,718 Okay? 86 00:03:56,097 --> 00:03:57,683 Finished. 87 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,659 I mean, from now on, you are just the guy who sits in the chair 88 00:03:59,683 --> 00:04:01,165 and smells increasingly odd 89 00:04:01,303 --> 00:04:02,545 as the years go by. 90 00:04:03,648 --> 00:04:05,648 Everybody, say hello to Mr. Buchman. 91 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,062 Hey-hey. 92 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,165 Hi, Mr. Buchman. 93 00:04:09,303 --> 00:04:10,752 Hello, team. How are you doing? 94 00:04:10,889 --> 00:04:12,924 Oh, everybody say, thank you, Mr. Buchman. 95 00:04:13,062 --> 00:04:15,407 Thank you, Mr. Buchman. 96 00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:16,648 What is this? 97 00:04:16,786 --> 00:04:19,647 Paulie, I give you the Turtle Bay Rangers, 98 00:04:19,786 --> 00:04:21,269 newest entry in the midtown 99 00:04:21,407 --> 00:04:22,476 Youth Hockey League, 100 00:04:22,613 --> 00:04:23,717 Sponsored by... 101 00:04:23,855 --> 00:04:26,993 Buchman's sporting goods. 102 00:04:27,131 --> 00:04:28,613 Well, that's so cool. 103 00:04:28,751 --> 00:04:30,900 Yeah. They've come here for their last-minute pep talk. 104 00:04:30,924 --> 00:04:32,889 Oh. From you, of course, Mr. Hockey. 105 00:04:34,786 --> 00:04:35,786 All right, men. 106 00:04:35,855 --> 00:04:37,302 In just a short while, 107 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,717 you will be faced with the greatest athletic challenge 108 00:04:39,855 --> 00:04:41,199 of your young lives 109 00:04:41,337 --> 00:04:43,233 against your sworn enemy, 110 00:04:43,371 --> 00:04:44,786 The Murray Hill Red Wings. 111 00:04:44,923 --> 00:04:46,440 Now, each of you may be wondering 112 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:47,647 how you're gonna hold up 113 00:04:47,785 --> 00:04:48,825 in the heat of the battle. 114 00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:51,233 Well, until that opening face-off, 115 00:04:51,371 --> 00:04:52,923 you cannot know for sure. 116 00:04:53,061 --> 00:04:56,130 So what I want to tell you is this: 117 00:04:56,888 --> 00:04:58,923 You do what you feel. 118 00:04:59,061 --> 00:05:00,061 Okay? 119 00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:02,681 If you're tired, slow down. 120 00:05:03,026 --> 00:05:04,026 Huh? 121 00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:06,405 If you're afraid of the puck, run away. 122 00:05:07,612 --> 00:05:09,888 And, if you feel like giving up, remember: 123 00:05:10,026 --> 00:05:11,577 Sometimes you really should. 124 00:05:11,716 --> 00:05:13,163 All right? All right! 125 00:05:13,301 --> 00:05:15,612 Let's go out there and play some hockey! All right? 126 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,025 Ice cream if you lose! 127 00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:18,474 Yay! 128 00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:21,887 "Ice cream if you lose"? 129 00:05:22,025 --> 00:05:23,853 I was just being realistic. 130 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,645 You could've held out the possibility that they could win. 131 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,144 What, have you ever seen them play? 132 00:05:32,094 --> 00:05:33,991 That is very generous of you 133 00:05:34,129 --> 00:05:35,769 that you would sponsor the kids like that. 134 00:05:35,853 --> 00:05:37,749 Eh, well, believe me... 135 00:05:37,887 --> 00:05:39,749 I'll get my investment back. 136 00:05:39,887 --> 00:05:41,163 Why? What does that mean? 137 00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:42,587 Well, you know, nothin'. It's just... 138 00:05:42,611 --> 00:05:44,404 It's good advertising, plus... 139 00:05:44,542 --> 00:05:45,542 Plus what? 140 00:05:46,093 --> 00:05:47,093 Nothin'. 141 00:05:49,059 --> 00:05:50,335 What? 142 00:05:50,473 --> 00:05:52,921 Paulie, let's just say that if the Rangers lose, 143 00:05:53,059 --> 00:05:54,059 I win. 144 00:05:59,748 --> 00:06:02,335 Did you fix a youth hockey game? 145 00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:05,644 Come on, they're gonna lose anyway. 146 00:06:05,783 --> 00:06:07,575 Only one of 'em can actually skate, 147 00:06:07,714 --> 00:06:11,059 and then only in a big circle to his left. 148 00:06:11,197 --> 00:06:14,059 Hey, boss, what's the spread on the kids' hockey game? 149 00:06:14,197 --> 00:06:17,059 Oh, and what a fine influence you are on others. 150 00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:19,541 Hey, everybody. Hiya. 151 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,092 There's my girls. 152 00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:23,230 Sorry we're late. Miserable traffic. 153 00:06:23,368 --> 00:06:24,368 Yeah, well, you know, 154 00:06:24,437 --> 00:06:25,886 Al Gore, king of late night. 155 00:06:27,196 --> 00:06:28,368 We tried 6th, 8th, 156 00:06:28,506 --> 00:06:29,506 10th, 12th, 157 00:06:29,644 --> 00:06:31,472 the west side highway... All jammed. 158 00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:34,265 Just miserable masses of people... 159 00:06:34,403 --> 00:06:35,885 Honey. What? 160 00:06:36,023 --> 00:06:38,230 Not... Not in the stockroom. 161 00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:42,092 Sweetie, when my breasts hear a crying child, 162 00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:43,989 which they have since 14th street, 163 00:06:44,127 --> 00:06:45,713 very quickly the bar is open. 164 00:06:45,851 --> 00:06:48,298 Yeah, but she just ate before. 165 00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:50,643 I'm breastfeeding my child. Would you get over yourself? 166 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:51,989 Ow! 167 00:06:52,126 --> 00:06:53,229 Paulie... 168 00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:54,861 Jamie should feel completely comfortable 169 00:06:54,885 --> 00:06:56,229 breastfeeding around me. 170 00:06:57,713 --> 00:06:58,713 Oh. 171 00:06:59,988 --> 00:07:01,988 Okay. Admit. Come on, admit it. 172 00:07:02,126 --> 00:07:03,678 This makes you crazy. 173 00:07:03,815 --> 00:07:05,988 You don't know whether you should be embarrassed 174 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,677 or aroused or thirsty. 175 00:07:09,505 --> 00:07:10,826 You don't even know where to put your eyes. 176 00:07:10,850 --> 00:07:12,160 Admit it. Do it. 177 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,264 It doesn't make me the least bit uncomfortable. 178 00:07:14,402 --> 00:07:15,677 Get get... You're a big liar. 179 00:07:15,815 --> 00:07:16,884 Marvin, come on. 180 00:07:17,022 --> 00:07:18,377 You, Marvin, who lives with your mother. 181 00:07:18,401 --> 00:07:20,229 This... 182 00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:22,006 This has gotta make you crazy, doesn't it? 183 00:07:22,091 --> 00:07:23,332 Not at all. 184 00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:26,573 As a matter of fact, I find it very calming and healthy. 185 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:27,781 All right. You know what? 186 00:07:27,919 --> 00:07:29,204 Just do something else, will ya? Get outta here. 187 00:07:29,228 --> 00:07:30,953 Uncle Ira, I forgot my cup. 188 00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:32,618 Oh, hey, don't look there. Don't look... 189 00:07:32,642 --> 00:07:34,228 Don't look, don't look there. 190 00:07:35,056 --> 00:07:36,504 What? The kid's gotta eat. 191 00:07:37,608 --> 00:07:39,366 Yeah. Okay. 192 00:07:41,297 --> 00:07:42,332 You know what? 193 00:07:42,470 --> 00:07:44,504 You don't fool me, none of you. 194 00:07:50,952 --> 00:07:52,090 One little burp 195 00:07:52,228 --> 00:07:54,434 while mommy puts her bosoms away. 196 00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:59,434 It's the knicks by five at the half. 197 00:08:00,227 --> 00:08:02,089 Hi! Hey, Mom. 198 00:08:02,227 --> 00:08:04,469 Hi. Where's my granddaughter? 199 00:08:04,607 --> 00:08:05,641 Where is she? 200 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:06,780 Look who's here. 201 00:08:06,849 --> 00:08:08,711 Oh, hello, sweetheart. 202 00:08:08,849 --> 00:08:10,193 Look how big she's getting. 203 00:08:10,331 --> 00:08:11,676 She's so beautiful. 204 00:08:11,813 --> 00:08:13,514 Could we have some ice water for the table, please? 205 00:08:13,538 --> 00:08:14,720 I beg your pardon. 206 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,169 Uh, some ice water and some breadsticks, please. 207 00:08:16,193 --> 00:08:18,227 I'd love to help you, if only I worked here. 208 00:08:19,296 --> 00:08:20,365 Patrick, come here. 209 00:08:22,158 --> 00:08:23,744 Look at that... 210 00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:27,089 Look at that face. Did you ever see anything so beautiful? 211 00:08:27,227 --> 00:08:29,399 So you're not the waiter? 212 00:08:29,537 --> 00:08:30,537 Waiter? 213 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,813 Oh, no, honey. This is Patrick. 214 00:08:33,951 --> 00:08:36,848 Patrick, this is my daughter Jamie and my son-in-law Paul. 215 00:08:36,986 --> 00:08:37,986 Oh, pleasure to meet you. 216 00:08:38,123 --> 00:08:39,295 The gentleman friend. 217 00:08:39,433 --> 00:08:40,675 Guilty as charged. 218 00:08:41,675 --> 00:08:43,123 I-I-I-I-I... 219 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,295 Not at all. 220 00:08:44,985 --> 00:08:45,985 Well, we'd better order. 221 00:08:46,054 --> 00:08:47,743 Patrick has to get to a matinee. 222 00:08:47,881 --> 00:08:49,743 Oh, what are you going to see? 223 00:08:49,881 --> 00:08:51,295 Oh, no, no, no. 224 00:08:51,433 --> 00:08:52,709 He's in the matinee. 225 00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:55,433 He's in Lord of the Dance. 226 00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,339 You're a Lord of the Dance dancer. 227 00:08:58,467 --> 00:09:00,743 And I might add, the very best one in the show. 228 00:09:00,881 --> 00:09:02,054 Oh, come now. 229 00:09:02,192 --> 00:09:03,674 No, you are. 230 00:09:03,812 --> 00:09:06,123 Frankly... he's better than the Lord. 231 00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:10,709 Theresa, please. No, well, you are. 232 00:09:10,847 --> 00:09:13,501 I mean, the Lord is a good dancer, 233 00:09:13,639 --> 00:09:15,225 but you're a better one. 234 00:09:15,363 --> 00:09:16,709 Better dancer than the Lord. 235 00:09:17,639 --> 00:09:18,915 Are you familiar with the show? 236 00:09:19,053 --> 00:09:20,329 Oh, it's got wonderful staging 237 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,570 and brilliant stories, lovely music. 238 00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:25,191 Yeah, it's supposed to be, like, magically delicious. 239 00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:27,822 But, uh, we couldn't get tickets. 240 00:09:27,846 --> 00:09:29,156 Oh, well, you can now. 241 00:09:29,294 --> 00:09:31,018 Quite so. I'll see to it. 242 00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:33,122 A dancer? THERESA: Uh-huh. 243 00:09:33,260 --> 00:09:35,846 He's a dancer. I was a dancer. 244 00:09:35,984 --> 00:09:37,328 I mean... 245 00:09:37,466 --> 00:09:39,087 Look at us. What are the odds? 246 00:09:39,224 --> 00:09:40,604 I would say long. 247 00:09:42,431 --> 00:09:43,984 I'd say the odds were long. 248 00:09:44,121 --> 00:09:45,362 Sweetie. Yeah, what? 249 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,052 I'm starving. What looks good here? 250 00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:49,822 You know what I think you'd enjoy here, love, is the shepherd's pie. 251 00:09:49,846 --> 00:09:51,126 Shepherd's pie. Mm-hmm. 252 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,293 Sounds Irish. 253 00:09:52,431 --> 00:09:53,466 And good. 254 00:09:53,604 --> 00:09:55,086 Oh, it's marvelous. 255 00:09:55,224 --> 00:09:57,466 It's marvelous. It's a real treat. 256 00:09:57,604 --> 00:09:59,190 And not just for the shepherd. 257 00:10:03,879 --> 00:10:05,328 Okay, so here's a question: 258 00:10:05,465 --> 00:10:07,121 Uh, how... How did you two meet? 259 00:10:07,259 --> 00:10:10,499 Well, he'd just finished doing the show... Well, I'd just finished... 260 00:10:10,637 --> 00:10:13,155 No, no, you tell it. No, you tell it. 261 00:10:13,292 --> 00:10:14,776 'Tis lovelier told by you. 262 00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,292 Oh, somebody tell it. 263 00:10:17,672 --> 00:10:20,085 All right. Well, I went to see the show... 264 00:10:20,223 --> 00:10:21,258 Uh, Lord of the Dance. 265 00:10:21,396 --> 00:10:22,441 Lord of the Dance. 266 00:10:22,465 --> 00:10:24,154 And I found myself sitting there 267 00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:26,568 absolutely enraptured. 268 00:10:26,707 --> 00:10:27,982 "Enraptured"? 269 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,120 Yes. 270 00:10:29,189 --> 00:10:30,740 "Enraptured." 271 00:10:30,878 --> 00:10:33,671 Yeah, so... So, Patrick, how long have you been in New York? 272 00:10:33,809 --> 00:10:36,085 Oh, six months. And you're here till... 273 00:10:36,223 --> 00:10:37,223 Indefinitely. 274 00:10:37,361 --> 00:10:39,361 Oh. Aces. Sweetie... 275 00:10:39,498 --> 00:10:41,085 So just so I understand this, 276 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:43,602 You two would be what? The phrase would be what? 277 00:10:43,740 --> 00:10:45,016 You're dating? 278 00:10:45,602 --> 00:10:46,706 Courting? 279 00:10:46,844 --> 00:10:47,844 Kidding? 280 00:10:48,602 --> 00:10:49,809 Sweetie, you know... 281 00:10:49,947 --> 00:10:51,016 Did you know 282 00:10:51,153 --> 00:10:53,740 that Patrick was voted all-county dancer 283 00:10:53,878 --> 00:10:55,326 when he was only five years old? 284 00:10:55,464 --> 00:10:57,740 Really? And that was, like, what, ten years ago? 285 00:10:59,222 --> 00:11:00,636 Sweetie... What'd I say? 286 00:11:00,775 --> 00:11:02,050 Jamie, don't start. 287 00:11:02,188 --> 00:11:04,326 What? What did I say? I just said he was young. 288 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,819 That's enough. Have I insulted you? 289 00:11:05,843 --> 00:11:07,578 It's not an insult to say you're a young man. 290 00:11:07,602 --> 00:11:08,808 That's more than enough. 291 00:11:08,946 --> 00:11:11,360 What? You're having a December-May romance. 292 00:11:11,497 --> 00:11:12,532 Sweetie. 293 00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:15,222 Or in this case December-early March, but... 294 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:16,360 Bingo! 295 00:11:17,601 --> 00:11:18,877 Let's go, Patrick. 296 00:11:19,015 --> 00:11:21,808 You just couldn't help yourself, could you? 297 00:11:21,946 --> 00:11:24,128 The shepherd's pie. Maybe we'll get some shepherd's pie. 298 00:11:24,152 --> 00:11:26,635 Oh, now, why would you want to go and do a thing like that? 299 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:36,532 Well, we can forget about those free tickets now, Ollie. 300 00:11:53,911 --> 00:11:54,911 Mom? 301 00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:56,565 Mom. 302 00:11:57,945 --> 00:11:59,980 What? You're not speaking to me now? 303 00:12:00,117 --> 00:12:01,842 I'm old. I can't hear you. 304 00:12:05,117 --> 00:12:06,979 Oh, hi, Jamie. 305 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,151 Hi, Patrick. 306 00:12:08,289 --> 00:12:09,462 Don't you talk to him. 307 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,255 And off. And one, two, three, four. 308 00:12:17,841 --> 00:12:20,048 Mom, I'm sorry, but what are you doing, 309 00:12:20,186 --> 00:12:22,358 dating a guy the square root of your age? 310 00:12:22,495 --> 00:12:24,151 And just who are you to judge me? 311 00:12:24,289 --> 00:12:25,289 I'm your daughter. 312 00:12:25,357 --> 00:12:26,461 And one... 313 00:12:30,599 --> 00:12:32,082 Listen, Missy, 314 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:33,979 I don't need your approval. 315 00:12:34,116 --> 00:12:35,116 Of course you do. 316 00:12:35,185 --> 00:12:36,633 No, I don't. 317 00:12:36,772 --> 00:12:40,116 I just assumed that since I'm happy when you're happy, 318 00:12:40,254 --> 00:12:41,978 you should be happy when I'm happy. 319 00:12:42,116 --> 00:12:43,599 But, mom, you're making a mistake. 320 00:12:43,737 --> 00:12:44,771 This is my life! 321 00:12:44,909 --> 00:12:46,081 Well, maybe... Whoa! 322 00:12:55,323 --> 00:12:58,874 Look, Patrick happens to be one terrific guy. 323 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,874 Mom, when he's 60, you'll be 80. 324 00:13:01,012 --> 00:13:04,563 Look, I'm not marrying him. I'm only sleeping with him! 325 00:13:04,702 --> 00:13:06,425 Hey, hey, hey! 326 00:13:06,563 --> 00:13:09,253 If you do marry him, when he's 80, you'll be 100. 327 00:13:09,391 --> 00:13:11,115 Whoa! Whoa! 328 00:13:12,046 --> 00:13:14,873 When he's 96, you'll be 116. 329 00:13:19,529 --> 00:13:22,149 When he's 320, you're gonna be 340. 330 00:13:22,287 --> 00:13:24,908 Now that should be the worst problem in my life that I ever have, 331 00:13:25,046 --> 00:13:28,735 that I'm a 340-year-old woman dating a younger man. 332 00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:29,873 All right. Mom... 333 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:32,184 What is it you want me to do, Jamie, huh? 334 00:13:32,322 --> 00:13:36,770 Do you want me to go home and sit in my room alone for the next 290 years? 335 00:13:36,908 --> 00:13:40,252 No, no, no. Of course not, no. 336 00:13:40,735 --> 00:13:41,908 Well, all right. 337 00:13:42,804 --> 00:13:43,804 I'm sorry. 338 00:13:44,735 --> 00:13:46,114 It's okay. 339 00:13:46,252 --> 00:13:49,701 Um, Patrick, I'd like to apologize to you as well. 340 00:13:52,562 --> 00:13:55,045 Hold that notion for a moment if you would, Jamie. 341 00:13:55,183 --> 00:13:56,228 It's, uh, curtain-call time. 342 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:57,700 Oh, sure. Fine. Is that all right? 343 00:13:57,838 --> 00:13:59,148 Oh, go, go, go. 344 00:14:03,492 --> 00:14:04,492 Should we... 345 00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:15,389 Okay. Okay, okay, okay. 346 00:14:15,527 --> 00:14:18,458 Oh, oh, oh, I know that sound. 347 00:14:19,872 --> 00:14:22,147 Oh, and I also know that, sadly, 348 00:14:22,285 --> 00:14:23,837 Mommy doesn't knock. 349 00:14:23,975 --> 00:14:27,733 Oh, please, let it be a soliciting wet nurse. 350 00:14:29,251 --> 00:14:30,423 Uh... 351 00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:32,802 Boy, they played their little hearts out, Paulie. 352 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,089 I really felt for 'em, you know, 353 00:14:34,113 --> 00:14:35,699 but they'll always be champions to me. 354 00:14:35,837 --> 00:14:37,871 Hey, you got change for a 50? 355 00:14:38,009 --> 00:14:40,182 I got a big problem here. What? 356 00:14:40,320 --> 00:14:42,595 Baby is starving. Jamie's not home yet. 357 00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:44,192 So what's the big deal? Give her a bottle. 358 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,975 Oh, you don't understand a thing, do you? 359 00:14:47,113 --> 00:14:49,629 It's a very big deal. We've never given her a bottle. 360 00:14:49,768 --> 00:14:51,048 Haven't given her a bottle ever. 361 00:14:51,112 --> 00:14:52,112 And, you know, for Jamie, 362 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:53,664 emotionally, that's a big step. 363 00:14:53,802 --> 00:14:54,802 Yeah. 364 00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:56,905 Okay, okay. You wanna go back in here? 365 00:14:57,043 --> 00:14:58,250 Okay, okay. 366 00:14:58,388 --> 00:14:59,502 You just... All right. 367 00:14:59,526 --> 00:15:00,595 Well, you know... 368 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,870 Sweetie, if I could lactate, you'd be so happy. 369 00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:05,422 And I'd be in a circus. 370 00:15:07,181 --> 00:15:09,077 Oh! Fixer! IRA: What? 371 00:15:09,215 --> 00:15:10,215 Corrupter! 372 00:15:10,319 --> 00:15:11,743 I don't know what you're talking about. 373 00:15:11,767 --> 00:15:13,432 Don't you lie to me, fixer! I saw you smirking 374 00:15:13,456 --> 00:15:15,559 after every Red Wing goal. Didn't! 375 00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,801 I saw you high-fiving Marvin. Wouldn't! 376 00:15:17,939 --> 00:15:19,219 I saw you take that wad of money 377 00:15:19,283 --> 00:15:21,249 from the father from the other team. 378 00:15:21,387 --> 00:15:23,318 You saw that, did you? Fixer! 379 00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:25,732 All right, Frannie, come on. We apologize. We really do. 380 00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:27,110 We? Yeah, Paulie, Marvin and I, 381 00:15:27,214 --> 00:15:28,801 we've made a horrible mistake. Hey! 382 00:15:28,938 --> 00:15:31,490 You? A father, in on it?! 383 00:15:31,628 --> 00:15:33,214 No. No! You ruiner, you! 384 00:15:33,352 --> 00:15:35,076 You adverse influencer! 385 00:15:35,214 --> 00:15:36,800 Okay. First of all, you calm down. 386 00:15:36,938 --> 00:15:39,731 And also, by the way, you're a heck of a guy. 387 00:15:39,869 --> 00:15:42,249 Boys, do you have something to say to the two Mr. Buchmans? 388 00:15:42,387 --> 00:15:45,076 Thank you, Mr. Buchmans. 389 00:15:45,214 --> 00:15:46,904 No, no, the other thing! 390 00:15:47,042 --> 00:15:50,180 Tell the two Mr. Buchmans how disillusioned you are. 391 00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:54,282 Our hearts are broken, Mr. Buchmans. 392 00:15:56,938 --> 00:15:57,938 I hope it was worth it. 393 00:15:58,042 --> 00:15:59,202 Fran, I... Frannie, please... 394 00:15:59,248 --> 00:16:02,248 Don't even try it. I break with thee. 395 00:16:02,386 --> 00:16:04,351 Both of thee. 396 00:16:04,489 --> 00:16:06,396 And for God's sake, that baby's hungry. Feed her. 397 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:09,351 Frannie, before you break with me, one quick question. 398 00:16:09,489 --> 00:16:11,317 Jamie's late, so do you think... 399 00:16:11,455 --> 00:16:13,765 Do you think it would be okay if, without asking her first 400 00:16:13,903 --> 00:16:16,592 I gave the baby the bottle for the first time? 401 00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:17,903 You're gonna do that? 402 00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:19,765 I'm thinking I might. 403 00:16:21,006 --> 00:16:22,006 It's a good idea. 404 00:16:34,488 --> 00:16:35,765 Ladies and gentlemen, 405 00:16:35,903 --> 00:16:37,834 commuter service will be temporarily delayed 406 00:16:37,971 --> 00:16:40,247 due to the visit of Vice President Al Gore. 407 00:16:40,523 --> 00:16:41,765 God! 408 00:16:41,902 --> 00:16:43,109 Are you okay? Oh, yeah. 409 00:16:43,247 --> 00:16:44,557 My kid is hungry. 410 00:16:46,971 --> 00:16:48,591 No, no, no. I'm nursing. 411 00:16:48,729 --> 00:16:50,050 My daughter's at home, and she's hungry. 412 00:16:50,074 --> 00:16:51,660 Oh, man. How old? 413 00:16:51,798 --> 00:16:52,833 Three Months. 414 00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,292 You know, you really should consider 415 00:16:54,316 --> 00:16:56,349 introducing the bottle. 416 00:16:56,487 --> 00:16:57,912 Okay, you know... You know I'm just saying, 417 00:16:57,936 --> 00:17:00,176 three months, at a certain point, you gotta cut the cord. 418 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,936 And the last time you gave birth would be when? 419 00:17:08,453 --> 00:17:11,004 By the way, five across is not "Gridma." 420 00:17:18,177 --> 00:17:20,004 All right, all right, all right. 421 00:17:20,142 --> 00:17:21,487 "What to do if your baby is hungry 422 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:22,980 "and your wife said she'd be home in an hour 423 00:17:23,004 --> 00:17:24,590 "and turns out she's a big fat liar." 424 00:17:26,142 --> 00:17:27,486 Amazingly, they don't have that. 425 00:17:28,039 --> 00:17:29,521 Paulie, books suck. 426 00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:34,946 You know what, give me the phone. 427 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,108 All right, here we go. 428 00:17:36,245 --> 00:17:38,624 Let her suck on your finger, 'cause it pacifies her. 429 00:17:38,763 --> 00:17:39,797 Are you serious? 430 00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:41,210 No, that's a big prank. 431 00:17:42,624 --> 00:17:43,728 Okay. 432 00:17:43,866 --> 00:17:46,832 Wow! She could take my arm off at the elbow. 433 00:17:49,728 --> 00:17:51,521 Hello. PAUL: Hey, Pop. 434 00:17:51,659 --> 00:17:52,762 Hey, it's me. Is mom there? 435 00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:55,590 No, she's at the damn pottery barn again. 436 00:17:56,623 --> 00:17:58,796 Okay, this is really more of a mom question. 437 00:17:58,934 --> 00:18:01,693 Club soda, and feather it with a tissue. 438 00:18:03,934 --> 00:18:06,623 Uh, no, I don't think that's gonna work here. 439 00:18:06,762 --> 00:18:09,382 Here's the problem: Jamie's not home yet, the baby's hungry. 440 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,841 And we've never given her the bottle yet, 441 00:18:10,865 --> 00:18:12,116 and Jamie really wants it that way, 442 00:18:12,140 --> 00:18:13,565 so I don't even know what I'm supposed to do. 443 00:18:13,589 --> 00:18:14,865 Feed her. 444 00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:16,693 You think? Let me tell you a little story. 445 00:18:16,831 --> 00:18:20,589 Your mother was dead set against getting an electric can opener. 446 00:18:20,727 --> 00:18:22,899 Dead set. It was the antichrist to her. 447 00:18:23,037 --> 00:18:24,347 Yeah. I bought it. 448 00:18:24,485 --> 00:18:26,485 She never even noticed it. 449 00:18:27,485 --> 00:18:28,496 Pop, you're a very smart man. 450 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:30,313 Sure. Okay, thanks, bye. 451 00:18:31,899 --> 00:18:33,209 All right, you know what? 452 00:18:33,347 --> 00:18:35,116 You watch the baby. I'm gonna make the formula. 453 00:18:35,140 --> 00:18:38,175 This is amazing. She can totally hang from my finger. 454 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,864 For God's sake. 455 00:18:56,967 --> 00:18:59,105 What goes in first, the powder or the water? 456 00:18:59,243 --> 00:19:00,519 Huh? The water, the water, 457 00:19:00,657 --> 00:19:01,897 'cause you gotta stir the water 458 00:19:02,001 --> 00:19:03,656 while you add in the powder. 459 00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:05,312 Just dump it in first. 460 00:19:05,450 --> 00:19:06,863 Paulie, what smells, huh? 461 00:19:07,001 --> 00:19:08,459 That's this. That's what it smells like. 462 00:19:08,483 --> 00:19:10,643 That can't be right. Everything for a baby smells good. 463 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:12,483 What... What's the expiration date? 464 00:19:12,621 --> 00:19:13,656 No, that's exactly 465 00:19:13,794 --> 00:19:15,105 how it's supposed to smell. 466 00:19:15,243 --> 00:19:16,345 I... I read about this. 467 00:19:16,483 --> 00:19:17,803 Yeah? Yeah, I know what I'm doing. 468 00:19:17,829 --> 00:19:19,046 I know what I'm doing. Yes, I do. 469 00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,350 Yes, I do. How's the temperature? 470 00:19:20,483 --> 00:19:21,483 Temperature? Yeah? 471 00:19:21,621 --> 00:19:23,311 That's not bad. Yeah? Taste it. 472 00:19:28,483 --> 00:19:29,483 How is it? 473 00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:30,552 You long for the days 474 00:19:30,656 --> 00:19:32,311 when you were just smelling it. 475 00:19:32,449 --> 00:19:34,449 Okay. Here we go, here we go. 476 00:19:34,587 --> 00:19:35,656 We're gonna be all right. 477 00:19:35,793 --> 00:19:38,380 Daddy has made such a feast for you. 478 00:19:38,518 --> 00:19:40,759 Oh, my goodness, a feast. 479 00:19:40,897 --> 00:19:42,069 It's gonna be all right. 480 00:19:42,207 --> 00:19:43,620 It's gonna be a little different, 481 00:19:43,759 --> 00:19:44,897 but it's gonna be all right. 482 00:19:45,035 --> 00:19:46,321 Paulie, are you sure about this? Yes. 483 00:19:46,345 --> 00:19:48,035 Really? Yes. Would you shut up? 484 00:19:48,173 --> 00:19:49,666 My child is hungry, and I'm gonna feed her. 485 00:19:49,690 --> 00:19:51,448 Just... Just sit down and don't talk. 486 00:19:51,586 --> 00:19:53,448 All right. Okay, here we go. Here we go. 487 00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:55,146 All right. Look what daddy made for you. 488 00:19:55,206 --> 00:19:56,828 It's Father's milk. 489 00:19:59,655 --> 00:20:01,137 Try it. You might like it. 490 00:20:01,275 --> 00:20:02,275 You might like it. 491 00:20:02,379 --> 00:20:03,379 Yeah. 492 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:06,310 Oh, look at that. 493 00:20:06,448 --> 00:20:07,448 Look at that. 494 00:20:08,965 --> 00:20:10,689 Ohh. This is great. 495 00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:13,068 Can I do it? 496 00:20:16,654 --> 00:20:20,585 Could you possibly have like the smallest sense of the moment, please? 497 00:20:20,723 --> 00:20:21,723 Sorry. 498 00:20:23,206 --> 00:20:24,309 Yeah. 499 00:20:24,447 --> 00:20:25,585 That's my girl. 500 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,034 Ohhh, thank God. 501 00:20:29,171 --> 00:20:30,827 Sorry, but we were really, really hungry. 502 00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:32,045 Starving. And so I'm sorry, 503 00:20:32,136 --> 00:20:33,216 really sorry, really sorry. 504 00:20:33,309 --> 00:20:34,964 Thank God you did it. Really? 505 00:20:35,102 --> 00:20:36,302 Well, looks like she likes it. 506 00:20:36,378 --> 00:20:37,630 Yeah, okay, but now that you're home... 507 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,550 No, no, no, no. 508 00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,309 Really? Go ahead. 509 00:20:41,964 --> 00:20:43,412 You sure? 510 00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:44,860 You're doing great. 511 00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:48,688 Okay. 512 00:20:50,102 --> 00:20:51,964 All right. Mmm. 513 00:20:54,618 --> 00:20:55,618 Ow! 514 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:56,964 Ooh! Kidding. 515 00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:05,180 I'm just so glad you're here, 516 00:21:05,204 --> 00:21:06,929 'cause I've wanted shepherd's pie 517 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,239 for, like, five scenes now. 518 00:21:08,377 --> 00:21:10,135 I never got it, don't know how to do it, 519 00:21:10,273 --> 00:21:11,963 So just... Thank you. So, what do we do? 520 00:21:12,101 --> 00:21:13,249 Well, first you add your suet. 521 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:16,515 Suet. Okay. There you go. 522 00:21:16,653 --> 00:21:17,859 Then you put in your kidneys. 523 00:21:17,997 --> 00:21:18,997 Kidneys. 524 00:21:19,135 --> 00:21:21,411 Don't be shy. Put 'em all in. All right. 525 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:22,697 Do you have any more entrails? 526 00:21:22,721 --> 00:21:24,066 Entr... JAMIE: I don't... 527 00:21:24,204 --> 00:21:25,204 No, no entrails. 528 00:21:25,342 --> 00:21:27,022 All right. Then put in the stick of butter. 529 00:21:28,101 --> 00:21:29,170 Butter. 530 00:21:29,308 --> 00:21:31,756 Now you add your gristle. 531 00:21:32,445 --> 00:21:33,790 Gristle? Yes. 532 00:21:33,928 --> 00:21:35,790 Well, you're the shepherd. 533 00:22:33,995 --> 00:22:35,155 I'm just so glad you're here, 534 00:22:35,237 --> 00:22:36,995 'cause I wanted shepherd pie 535 00:22:37,133 --> 00:22:38,477 for, like, five scenes now. 536 00:22:38,615 --> 00:22:40,384 I never got it, and I don't know how to do it, 537 00:22:40,408 --> 00:22:41,995 So just... Thank you. So, what do we do? 538 00:22:42,133 --> 00:22:43,315 Well, first you add your suet. 539 00:22:43,339 --> 00:22:45,098 Suet. Okay. 540 00:22:45,236 --> 00:22:46,546 There you go. 541 00:22:46,685 --> 00:22:47,926 Then you put in your kidneys. 542 00:22:48,063 --> 00:22:49,098 Kidneys. 543 00:22:49,236 --> 00:22:51,477 Don't be shy. Put 'em all in. All right. 544 00:22:51,615 --> 00:22:52,925 Do you have any more entrails? 545 00:22:53,063 --> 00:22:54,167 Entr... I don't... 546 00:22:54,305 --> 00:22:55,305 No, no entrails. 547 00:22:55,443 --> 00:22:57,123 All right. Then put in the stick of butter. 548 00:22:58,305 --> 00:22:59,305 Butter. 549 00:22:59,443 --> 00:23:01,960 Now, you add your gristle. 550 00:23:02,649 --> 00:23:03,753 Gristle? Yes. 551 00:23:03,891 --> 00:23:05,684 Well, you're the shepherd.